Diskusi Lanjutan Tentang Rajam (Harus Dibaca Ya!)

{To my English speaking subscribers, please  skip this one, it will be in my National language : Indonesia…}

Saya memuat posting “Death by Stoning in Islam” beberapa waktu lalu. Hari ini postingan tersebut mendapat perhatian dari salah satu pengguna facebook, yang (dengan nyamannya) tidak memakai nama aslinya, dan tidak memasang foto dirinya.

Diskusi yang tadinya sedikit bermutu berubah menjadi diskusi yang tidak bermutu sama sekali, dimana banyak pihak hanya mengeyel tanpa mengutip dalil-dalil baru dari Al-Quran.

Sebagian besar hanya meng-kopi-paste dari artikel-artikel yang ditemukan di tempat yang bermacam-macam.

Saya dikatai memiliki “otak rusak” akibat postingan saya tersebut. Astaghfirullah… sungguh penilaian yang pedas, apa lagi datang dari orang yang semestinya tau lebih baik tentang Islam (dari pada saya lo… hehe)

Berikut saya lampirkan print screen dari hasil diskusi tersebut.

Peringatan: Diskusi yang sangat… sangat… sangat… panjang. 😀

Bapak-bapak, ibu-ibu, silakan membuat secangkir teh hangat, sebaskom popcorn asin, dan silakan dibaca… (take your time!)

Eits… tunggu dulu…! ternyata diskusi belum bisa berhenti. Ini lanjutannya: (ayo tarik nafas panjang….) 🙂

Sudah… diskusi yang berlangsung dalam profile saya alhamdulillah berhenti di situ… Tapi ternyata, diskusi terus berlanjut di profil Ummu Hafizh. Berikut dokumentasinya:

Aduh, panjang ya…? Hehehe… siapa yang mengira kalo diskusi ini bisa jadi sedemikian panjangnya padahal yang dibahas cuma itu-itu saja… 🙂 Sayang sekali, ini belum berakhir… masih ada lanjutannya: (ayo tarik nafas panjang lagi!)

Apa bapak-bapak dan ibu-ibu sudah mulai capek? Tolong sabar ya… tinggal satu screen capture lagi kok… 🙂

Sampai saat saya menulis posting yang ini, diskusi di profile Ummu Hafizh berhenti di situ. Mungkin nanti ada kelanjutannya, tapi saya belum tahu. 🙂

Ya… ya… ya… semua argumen yang dipersembahkan pada saya bisa dianggap valid.

Fiuh…. *mengelap keringat di dahi dan di ketiak*

Saya harus mulai dari mana ya? Tidak pernah saya membayangkan akan dihakimi dan dikata-katai oleh orang-orang yang tidak saya kenal di facebook. Mungkin saya kenal, tapi namanya tidak ada yang pakai nama asli, dan semua tidak ada fotonya. (Apa ini kebetulan?)

Kalau pembaca sekalian sudah membaca komentar-komentar tersebut di atas, terlihat jelas kalau mereka semua… sekali lagi… SEMUA… menganggap saya ini orang yang bodoh. Yang tidak pernah baca Al-Quran, tidak pernah baca tafsir, tidak pernah baca kitab-kitab hadist, dan lain-lain…

Bahkan ada yang mengatakan bahwa saya tidak bisa mengerti bahasa Indonesia, boro-boro bahasa arab. Hehehehe…

Diskusinya jadi ngalor ngidul. Tapi biarlah, saya punya pemahaman sendiri mengenai agama saya ini… saya punya metode pembelajaran sendiri yang orang-orang di atas pasti sulit mengerti.

Mereka mau menganggap saya buta, dan berotak rusak, kan hak asasi mereka. Mau menganggap saya sulit berbahasa, juga terserah mereka. Untuk saya, cukuplah fakta bahwa Tuhan Maha Mengetahui.

Tuhan yang bisa menghakimi saya dengan adil. Betul tidak?

Saya sudah sering berdiskusi dengan ustadz-ustadz mesir lulusan Al-Azhar, dengan muslim-muslim dari Iran, Lebanon, Moroko, etc…

Saya bangga menjadi muslim yang berpendidikan dan mau berpikir. Mau berusaha dan mencari kebenaran sendiri. Bukan yang sekedar datang ke pengajian dan selalu mantuk-mantuk pada apa yang dikatakan pak imam sambil membuat catatan-catatan kecil di dalam buku tulis saya.

Saya tanya semua orang, saya pernah mengirimkan surat ke Quraish Shihab, dan sekarang sedang menulis surat ke Presiden Ahmadinejad di Iran.

Saya melaksanakan pesan yang terkandung dalam ayat pertama yang diturunkan pada Muhammad: “Iqra”. Saya belajar, dengan pemikiran terbuka, dan saya tidak akan berhenti sampai nyawa saya dicabut oleh Tuhan.

Saya berpikir sendiri, dengan bekal kitab-kitab yang saya percaya, kemudian saya menanyakannya pada orang-orang yang berpengetahuan lebih.

Saya nggak sekedar menuliskan di facebook saya: “Hei… tolong bantuin aku dong… aku gak bisa beragumentasi sama orang ini…” dan kemudian mendapatkan segerombolan kawan-kawan saya yang siap mencerca siapapun yang berpikiran berbeda.

Kapan dan di mana “lakum dinukum waliyadin” bisa dilaksanakan?

Dian Retno Wulandari. Tuhan Maha Mengetahui.

PS: Apparently, kalau mau termasuk golongan muslim yang baik, kita harus lebih sering menggunakan kata-kata arab. Seperti : ummi, abi, ikhwan, akhwat, ana, anta, etc…

PPS: “Siap pak polisi…!! Saya juga mengaku bersalah atas ketidakbermutuan thread facebook di atas!” 😀

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My Giving-birth Story. Part 1

29 January 2009; around 4 o’clock in the morning. 2 weeks before our expected due date.


A normal winter morning, and most people must’ve been fast asleep, but I was sitting on a chair at a small dining-table-turned-office-desk in our little studio-flat in Belgium.

Surfing through my facebook news-feed page, the blue-pregnant-lingerie I was wearing was wet from waist down, so were my panties, so was the chair I was sitting on…, and there’s a puddle of water on the floor –around my left foot.

Yes, my water broke about ½ hour earlier and it gushed down my left leg and formed the afore-mentioned puddle on the floor, wetting my lingerie, my panties, and my dining chair on its way down.

When we were pregnant

While it might seem odd to check one’s facebook while one is in labour… at that precise moment, I couldn’t think of anything better to do whilst waiting for my husband getting ready for the hospital run (it was winter, so getting ready means thermal undershirt, sweater, boots, shawl, gloves, etc)

My peaceful facebook surfing was disturbed by my husband irritated voice. “Are we giving birth or not…?!” He was all togged-up in his winter jacket and sweater, tapping his fingers against the kitchen sink with an ‘are you kidding me…!?’ look on his face.

So then…, ladies and gentlemen, I got myself ready for the hospital. (I was not efficient. I know, but let’s move on… :D)

— o —

I thought it was going to be all fast, and hectic, and frantic, and busy when my water breaks. (Just like in those Hollywood movies we’ve seen around.) But that was not the case for me. When my water actually broke, I strangely felt calm and content… perhaps because I had been through 2 miscarriages before.

Calm was not how I’d describe my husband though. He was nervous and highly strung. He was worried that we might get stuck in a traffic jam. (Yeah right… a traffic jam in Brussels at 5 am?)

So he hurled his pregnant wife in a VW Passat –company car. He drove so fast through the empty roads of Brussels, leaving skid-marks on every turn, checking his watch every 5 minutes. 🙂

We didn’t talk to each other at all on our way to the hospital. It was too intense… at least for him. 😀 Poor thing…

The first contraction was when we were at the parking basement of the Hospital. This is it, I thought. Standing still, and bracing myself to cope with the pain, my husband didn’t understand why I should stop to do that.

“Shouldn’t we just run up quickly and see a doctor or a midwife to check on you?” He said.

Oh men… ! They don’t know anything about labour pain do they? 😀

It was all very, very, sweet though…, being a Mr.Cool-At-All-Time that he is, I enjoyed looking at my husband’s worried face and hearing his snappy impatient tone. It was endearing to see how worried he was and how frustrated he seemed.

What was happening was beyond his control. There was not much he could do to help me. It was just me, myself and my uterus at that point, and I think he hated the thought of not being able to help much.

— o —

Greeted by a midwife who spoke only French, I started feeling anxious. My husband squeezed my hand firmly. The midwife put her fingers into my birth canal, and then… smiled.

She asked my husband to pass her a stainless-steel bowl (all said in French). She put the bowl under my… uhm… crotch… and pulled her fingers out slowly, and with it came gushing down what seemed like tons of water –filling the bowl in no time.

“3 cm cervical dilation. She is in labour, we’ll check you in.” She gave me a hospital robe and there began the adventure.

It was still very early in the morning, if everything was going to go textbook-like, we were informed,  we should have ‘our new bundle’ by noon, or afternoon.

We were so excited…. But as it turned out, things were not straight forward. My labour had to be induced –twice, and a whole set of doctors (head of OBGYN, anaesthetist, neurologist, and some resident-doctors) came in and out of the delivery room.

I will tell you the rest later. To be continued… 🙂

Dian Retno Wulandari. Reminiscing away…

PS: It was my son’s 2nd birthday a few days ago, and I spent the last few days feeling nostalgic, thus my writing this post. 🙂

PPS: The pregnancy was conceived in Indonesia, but I spent most of my 1st trimester in Canada, most of my 2nd trimester back in Indonesia again, and most of my 3rd trimester in Belgium. My son is a world traveller even before he was born. 🙂

PPPS: Our pregnancy was not categorised as high risk, but a normal delivery (non-caesarian) for someone with a spinal condition like me could be categorised as high risk. Luckily we were handled by some of the best doctors and midwives in Belgium.

Facebook Will End on March. True or False?

Please find the article here, where Mark Zuckerberg allegedly made a statement about closing Facebook, and told users to back up their photos before the offline date if they don’t want to lose those photos.


I heard about this rumour when I skim-read my FB news feed a few days ago. I dismissed it instantly. “Ah… must be just a hoax.” I wouldn’t waste my energy digging into the matter. But then, a friend that I consider to be respectable (his initial: DMW) also posted a link regarding the issue on his FB page. Now then… hearing a rumour is one thing, but hearing it from him is a totally different story.

So I clicked his link and it directed me to a news page, full of statements coming from Mark. The article was so well written, it made my back sweat.

“Oh my Lord…! What should I do without Facebook? Does this mean I should go and hang out more with my friends? Does this mean I should get back into calling, texting, and emailing people? Does this mean that when I want to share photos I have to upload them to flickers or email and tell everybody I just uploaded them? Does this mean I need to remember people’s birthdays, or put them on my agenda-book? And worst yet…, how am I supposed to get my nose around what people are up to without Facebook? How…??!!” (being nosy is my first reason to be on FB) 😀

In short, I panicked. I was not ready to let go of FB… my entire life flashed before me… playing Farmville, finding old friends, ignoring new friend requests, commenting on photos, making stupid status updates, judging people… The whole memory came rushing back to the surface of my brain… and I got all emotional…

After a few seconds of self pity over the unruly fate of Facebook, I started to compose myself. Everything will be just fine. I can manage. Life will move on, and I won’t let it ruin me. Even better perhaps…, I get to go out with friends instead of chatting on FB… or I can get into the excitement of buying real birthday gifts rather than some quick birthday notes on FB wall…  or I get to send Christmas cards instead of saying Merry Christmas as status updates… or I get to have some extra free time to play picnic with my little son… Yes! Everything will actually be better without FB. World was a better place before Facebook. 🙂 All things settled. Whaz da biggie dude?

But a few seconds after those few seconds… I saw the header of the news page, and it was “Weekly World News ”. Do you know what this mean, my dear readers…? Do you…?? Do you…??? Well…, I do. Because my heart sank when I read the header.  This means the whole thing is a lie. This website is renowned for making the best hoax ever circulated on earth. So, no, sadly, Facebook is not going to end after March 15th. Why would they anyway? They just got valued 50 billion dollars!

And then… my entire life flashed before me… playing Farmville, finding old friends, ignoring new friend requests, commenting on photos, making stupid status updates, judging people…

“Oh My Lord…! Does this mean I get to do all those things all over again? But what about my plan of hanging out with friends? What about buying birthday gifts and sending Christmas cards? What about that picnic with Alix? Why can’t Facebook just be gone? Why…??!!” *sigh*

Did I just waste my energy digging into the matter? 😀

Dian Retno Wulandari .Can’t decide whether Facebook is good or bad.

PS: This probably proves that there is no way of satisfying a woman. 🙂

PPS: You should decide for yourselves if Facebook is good for your lives or not.