Grey Hairs, Age Spots, and Stretch Marks.

It’s my birthday today… I am worried scared not sure how I feel about it. I know that my husband has arranged a romantic lunch/dinner somewhere great. Buffet, just the way I like it… with an over the top bouquet of the best flowers in town –as always. But that isn’t what this writing is about.

I want to stay young forever I don’t think I am ready for this new age to dawn upon me. I want to hang on to my previous age and do more with it. Have I done enough through the last year to say that I have lived life to the fullest? No. I don’t think feel so.

As you know from my previous post, in not so long from now I will say goodbye to my twenties and enter the overrated age of 30. Yes, my golden age is dwindling away, and when I’m 30… will I be able to look back at my twenties and smile with contentment? I don’t know… But I am determined to stuff as many things as possible into this extremely limited time I have left in my hands.

“I am still in my twenties… Do not despair, my dear self… I can still shape the history of my golden age. Now is the time!”

Few days ago, just after I cleaned my “stay young forever” mask off my face, my husband said to me: “Why are you becoming so obsessed about the way you look these days?” I squinted at him through my naturally slitty eyes with a deadly look. Not because I didn’t want to say anything, but because I was already on another mask that restricts free movement of facial muscles. 😀 (this other mask is to prevent acne).

Few hours later -mask free- I proclaimed to my husband –and to the whole world for that matter… “I have every right to obsess over the way I look…!” and I better do it while I’m young. No?

You see… I spent practically my entire life not worrying about the way I look. In my teenage I was lucky to have a proportional body, good shiny hair, and a unique face. No worries there. Then followed by university life, career world, and being a wife & mother era. Through all those years I barely used any make up. No sun block, no face powder, no lip balm. Nothing… (to the exasperation of my good friend Amalia). My husband would consider himself lucky when I decided to comb my hair just before we go out shopping. 😀

For nearly 30 years of my life, I’ve never had more than 4 sets of footwear, consisting of 1 pair of sporty shoes, 1 pair of girly shoes, 1 pair of going out sandals, and 1 pair of gardening sandals. That’s my lot.

But during the last year, I have been saying that I want to curl my hair, and that I want to dye it blonde. I bought endless amounts of face cream. I want to wear stilettos, pumps, platforms, all of it! I tried different types and colours of blushes. I bought mascara. I bought lip plumper. Bought long dresses, short dresses, bright, dark, tops, skirts… Everything…! The changes in my behavior must’ve freaked poor hubby out. Bless him… 😀

Point is… I was right (wasn’t I??). I have the right to obsess over the way I look. Like most women do! Now –out of all time- is the right time to exercise this right, to make things more right. Right…??

These days I spent extra time in front of the mirror. Looking closely at my severe age spots scattered around my temple and cheek bones. Running my fingers through my hair, plucking away at my grey hairs. Or simply gazing at the stretch marks around my legs and tummy, convincing myself that they are proofs of a heroic act of bearing a child into the world. *sigh*

With all these additions that come with age… Grey hairs, age spots, stretch marks, wrinkles around my eyes, and some extra fat around my belly… I realized that I am slowly turning into my mother.

Now thatis not such a bad thing. Right?


Dian Retno Wulandari. Celebrating a new age.

my 8th bday

That is a photo of my 8th birthday. My last age with short hair. My mother was a model and fitness instructor. My Father died when I was 12 yo. I wanted to be an astronaut. My big brother wanted to be a superhero. My little sister wanted to be me. 😀


17 responses to “Grey Hairs, Age Spots, and Stretch Marks.

  1. Dian, Happy Birthday my across the world friend!

    Your post made me laugh and cry, because my next birthday in March will be….50!!!!

    You have SO MUCH to look forward to you have no idea!
    If I knew then what I know now, On my 30th I would have slapped some mositurizer on my face and run out dancing and yelling woohoo! And then danced all night long!

    Do you know my 40’s were the best time I’ve ever had in my life? I no longer cared what people thought or tried to please other people. I realized that life is short and the only one I need to worry about pleasing about my life was me. It was very freeing.

    In my 40’s I started a rock and roll band, traveled to Dublin Ireland, raised a daughter, joined another band, wrote a book, had an art show and did a whole bunch of music benefits to fight AIDS….and more!!!

    It is hard to look in the mirror and see yourself change, but you direct that change, and every grey hair and wrinkle, and crow’s foot tells the world your journey that is your beauty. your happiness and sadness, you EARNED those.

    So having said all that, I have recently been thinking botox.. 🙂 (haha!)
    Happy Birthday!

    • Hi Elle! Thanks so much… *hug* I feel alot better now… It’s going to be a beautiful day… -fingers crossed-

  2. after all of my stupidity writing my previous comments in javanese, I think it is now the very great moment for me to say: “WHAT THE HECK are you talking about myself wanted to be like you?” instead… I am badly wanting to be as lucky as you do! hehehehehe….

    Selamat U’uwl mbwa…. semoga panjang umur dan bahagia selaluuuuuwww :*

  3. Well… Happy Birthday Wulan! And just be happy on your birthday!
    All your worries will just add more wrinkle and grey hairs.. 😀
    Smile and the world will smile with you!
    We are in the same boat! We are all getting old.. 😀

    • Geraint said the same thing… He also said “you’re not old when you have grey hairs, you’re old when you have grey head.”
      men are just… oblivious… 🙂 thanks for the birthday wishes.

  4. Wulan, you’re not old yet, coz if you’re old I’ll be old too, but I don’t feel that I am old (He..heee). But the important thing is not to be affraid of being old ‘coz everybody gets those wringkles and grey hairs too.
    I still remember when we were in Junior High School, you were the girl with long straight hairs and the red ribbon, so beatifull and I know you’re still beautifull.
    Happy Birthday Wulan
    *Nice Blog anyway and inspiring……

    • terima kasih Ratih. I also remember that we used to come to your house and practice the choir “gerbang keampunan” 😀

      • Gerbang Keampunan ya? iya ya, masih inget ya lan….
        Itu dulu waktu masih g banyak dosa, jadi g kepanasan waktu nyanyiin, sekarang udah lain rasanya mungkin ya….

  5. Mbwa, blog iki tas di woco karo ibuk…
    komentare ngene: “kurang ajarrr….. Hhahahaha”

    PS: komentar nya meluncur setelah baca ini: “I realized that I am slowly turning into my mother.” :D:D:D

    • heh? ibuk marah ta? hehehe… btw, meja yg ada di foto di atas kan sekarang jadi meja tv yu di rumah merpati residen kan…?

      • bukan, itu di jadikan meja di dapur, kalau meja tv miminak kan pake meja iyu yang di aston.

        Ibuk ngga marah kok, cuma gondok2 dikit :))

  6. Late comment… 🙂 Well, how is it after birthday? any different? 😀

    After I read your post and since my birthday is approaching, a thought crosses my mind, I’m also turning into my oldman but with a significant difference, I still don’t have a little me yet..

    *jadi pengen cepet punya anak*

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